I’ll take my chances!

No matter what part of the world you live in, if you are an atheist, you will have to put up with the absurdities atheists dish out by to prove the existence of their god(s).

First there are the “scientific” arguments - perhaps the most ridiculous ones. Christians usually come up with the “perfect clock” concept - that the earth revolving around the sun in a fixed orbit, the moon revolving around the earth and the earth’s own rotation, it’s like a mechanism of a clock... so precise that there’s bound to be a creator. But theists have a hard time explaining the presence of other planets in the solar system... what purpose do they serve in this “clock”. Just there as ornaments perhaps? The Muslims come up with even funnier ones. From how keeping pants above the ankles affects the intellectual ability of a person to  using Einstein's theory of relativity to explain Muhammad’s journey to the heavens that only lasted seconds in real time, they even have books that link science with Islam. In fact, some of them have resorted to photoshopping pictures of the moon to show that it had split into two and then rejoined by Muhammad.

Then there are the ones you will hear from people around you - you can’t see the air, but you can feel it; you don’t see love, but can’t deny its presence... god is like that - and the list goes on. Of course, you can always counter these silly arguments with concrete scientific explanations, but perhaps prefer saving your energy for other forums. When nothing works, many theists come up with that classic one, “It won’t hurt believing in god even if there isn’t one, but if you don’t believe and it turns out that god’s real, you’re  gonna be in big trouble.” Well, my reply to them, “I’ll take my chances!”

Are you an atheist for the right reasons?

In a country like Pakistan that is crawling with religious zealots, it is understandable that many people who are sickened by the state of affairs and on the verge of throwing up seek refuge in atheism. But is that enough for you to make the big leap? It is important that you become an an atheist for the right reasons, not simply because you are no longer willing to put up with the crap an overweight, halwa-devouring mullah is dishing out on a TV talk show.
The ruthless Taliban blowing up women and kids at shopping centres or Islamic clerics maintaining that DNA evidence is not reliable enough to be used in a rape case should not be the dominating reasons behind you turning to atheism - that merely be looking at things in a prejudiced perspective. Chances are such atheists will make a U-turn as soon as their 'intolerance' for religious bigotry subsides.

A true atheist is someone who has accepted the bigger picture without allowing personal biases to play a role - a decision made purely on the basis scientific evidence, logic and rationality. Yes, repulsion for religion can be a factor in the initial stages that can compel you to seek the truth. The Vatican prohibiting the use of contraceptives can get you to start thinking and provide you with the impetus to use your better judgement. But the rest should be a journey of discovering the reality. Before you can count yourself among the actual enlightened ones, make sure that you have really seen the light.

Ditching the assalamallekum and mashallah

For Pakistani atheists, it is not easy to unlearn. It’s hard to let go of old habits when you have grown up in a society where greetings other than "assalamallekum" (peace be on you) can be found offensive or odd by many. "Adaab", which simply means peace and is secular to some extent, isn't used anymore. Only an octogenarian Urdu poet would be considered normal saying that now.

The society's increasing tendency towards religion has also replaced a simple "shukriya" (thank you) with "jazaakallah" (may Allah reward you). In fact, parents wouldn’t hesitate to reprimand you if you don't add "mashallah" (Allah has willed it) when you bother yourself by saying something nice about their children. Not only that, there are prayers for saying before and after going to the loo. Even lies can be justified with a “inshallah” (if Allah wills).

The Pakistani atheists still reluctant to come out in the open have to continue using these Islamic terms to appear they are among the 'herd'.
But even those with the guts to openly admit being atheists in a society where such a notion is inconceivable for many, the inadvertent use of the Islamic terminology will come across as a pretty natural problem. And of course, it will stick around in the system for some time to come.

The advice for them - don't push it. There are some things that cannot be unlearned overnight. Don't blame yourself when the next time you suddenly blurt out "alhamdullilah" {praise be to Allah). You only have yourself to praise!